Friday, April 27, 2007
Sisterly Visits
So my sister arrives today. I am both excited and a little bit worried. The excitement is easy. We haven’t seen each other since my father’s funeral last year. We talk often enough on the phone, but its not the same as being together. She and I always talk easily, so the time will go quickly I know.
Yet still I am uneasy. I’m uneasy for no one thing either. First, LL and this particular sister have not always got on well. There was an incident when LL’s aunt died. My sister made an off the cuff comment about “How its probably for the best”. Said aunt had died of cancer, deteriorating quickly and very painfully. My father had said something similar and it just grated LL’s nerves. My wife has a quick temper and it set her off. My poor sister didn’t know what hit her, anger is a no no in my family. We just don’t do public displays of it. There have been other similar incidents and the two women are just that bit wary of each other.
I also know I have to speak to my sister about my mum. There is a legal case outstanding around the accident that in the end killed my father and caused brain damage in my mother. It hasn’t gone overly well, two years on and its still uncertain. I have to tread carefully as I don’t think the lawyer has been managed, but my sister is raw to any hinted criticism of her management of it. My fingers itch to take control, dealing with the law is a day to day part of my job. For family harmony though, I don’t, even though if it goes badly financial support of my mum will fall primarily to me.
Plus, this is my youngest sister, closest to me in age even if there’s a six years difference. There’s just that bit of sibling rivalry between us. I usurped her as the baby in the family and with some truth to the argument got rather spoiled being the youngest. It doesn’t get in the way really, but sometimes it still rears its ugly head.
Yet all those are risks, vapour in the wind that may never coalesce. I talked to her last night and she was happy and excited to be coming. I’m happy and excited she’s coming. LL is in a calm and happy frame of mind at the moment, the kids can’t wait and all should be good. Princess went and picked flowers for their bedroom, had arrayed her stuffed toys for inspection and put out books she wants her Auntie to read to her. This will, naturally, charm the sox of said auntie. All shall be good.
I hope…
Yet still I am uneasy. I’m uneasy for no one thing either. First, LL and this particular sister have not always got on well. There was an incident when LL’s aunt died. My sister made an off the cuff comment about “How its probably for the best”. Said aunt had died of cancer, deteriorating quickly and very painfully. My father had said something similar and it just grated LL’s nerves. My wife has a quick temper and it set her off. My poor sister didn’t know what hit her, anger is a no no in my family. We just don’t do public displays of it. There have been other similar incidents and the two women are just that bit wary of each other.
I also know I have to speak to my sister about my mum. There is a legal case outstanding around the accident that in the end killed my father and caused brain damage in my mother. It hasn’t gone overly well, two years on and its still uncertain. I have to tread carefully as I don’t think the lawyer has been managed, but my sister is raw to any hinted criticism of her management of it. My fingers itch to take control, dealing with the law is a day to day part of my job. For family harmony though, I don’t, even though if it goes badly financial support of my mum will fall primarily to me.
Plus, this is my youngest sister, closest to me in age even if there’s a six years difference. There’s just that bit of sibling rivalry between us. I usurped her as the baby in the family and with some truth to the argument got rather spoiled being the youngest. It doesn’t get in the way really, but sometimes it still rears its ugly head.
Yet all those are risks, vapour in the wind that may never coalesce. I talked to her last night and she was happy and excited to be coming. I’m happy and excited she’s coming. LL is in a calm and happy frame of mind at the moment, the kids can’t wait and all should be good. Princess went and picked flowers for their bedroom, had arrayed her stuffed toys for inspection and put out books she wants her Auntie to read to her. This will, naturally, charm the sox of said auntie. All shall be good.
I hope…
