Monday, April 10, 2006

An Oddly Pleasent Weekend

In many ways it was a grim weekend, yet I found it oddly pleasant. I think that’s due to both LL and I just kicking back and not trying to get much done. We’ve both been suffering from bad throats, so frankly, we just took it easy. Oh, there was a bit of puttering about in the garden, pruning things, planting things, playing with the kids, but we didn’t push to get a lot done as we often do.

The news though, from all sorts of fronts, was not so good. I got a note from my friend K, and I can best describe it as good bad news. She has cancer in one milk duct, and its been caught early. So, it should be treatable, but treatment means surgery and chemotherapy, so she has a rough number of months ahead. Its not a full mastectomy, thank god, but as she puts it in her own wry way, it will make choosing a new bikini a bit hard. She also sent some pictures of herself trying on wigs. The Marylyn Monroe blond look just didn’t cut it.

Then I got a heart rending phone message from my mum. My uncle had died. It wasn’t unexpected; he’d been in a bad way for the last year. I liked him, but I can’t say he was close. He was a Methodist preacher (as was my maternal grandfather, and indeed my own dad, read into that what you will…), and a bit odd. He was rather partial to stories about his days in the RCAF during “The War”.

What was heart rending was my mum’s voice. Two months on from my dad’s death it was obviously hitting her hard. Despite repeated attempts I haven’t yet talked to her, but got to two of my sisters (I have three, all much older, I was a late in the day “mistake” (my parents idea of birth control was the rhythm method (though its heartening to know sex does continue, even if the means of knowing that is knowing your parents, well…))).

You see, they were both in the car accident, and right after we thought my mum was the worse off. Her head got knocked back and forth and she had to be resuscitated in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. She recovered fast, my dad got MRSA, it’s the way of things in our world. Physically she’s fine, and luckily her personality survived intact, but her short term memory is shattered.

We think its muted her grieving about my dad. They were together more than 50 years, think of that for a moment, 50 years. I’m amazed I’ve survived 10 with LL. So it looks like with her brother’s death, its all finally hitting her.

There are times when living far away from your family is a good thing, and times when its not. I ache to be there with her, yet I can’t and life goes on. You take your joy as you can, and walk through the mess. So you see, it was an oddly pleasant weekend. Shouldn’t have been, but it was…


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